Tuesday, June 19, 2012

'Googling' an Old Boyfriend

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Ever Google an old boyfriend?

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How is 'Googling' an Old Boyfriend

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Everybody does it, and most of the time it's harmless. You're sitting at your computer, and old what's-his-name pops into your head. You wonder what he's up to and type his name into Google. Sometimes you find out. Sometimes you don't.

But Googling an old boyfriend (the one who got away, for example) can become dangerous, especially if it becomes an obsession. It's one thing to find out, say, that he's recently been promoted to menagerial Vp at Trump International, or to briefly check out his kid's Communion photos on his house website. It's quite an additional one if you find yourself hitting his website day after day, or Googling him continually in the hopes of scratching up fresh information.

One woman told me she's gone even further. "I'm computer savvy and can get data on anyone," she said. She's a young, beautiful, and obviously fascinating person who's digging up data on a guy she once worked with and his current girlfriend. She pored over photos of the girlfriend, comparing herself to her, before figuring out a way to delete the pictures from the guy's website. She also managed to hack into his friend's email accounts and reads their messages to additional keep tabs on him.

There's a name for this behavior. It's called "cyberstalking." Here's the sad thing: If the guy were to ever find out what this woman is up to, he'd lose respect for her. The discovery would annihilate the slim opening she'd ever win him. And he might even be sufficiently creeped out to apprise the police.

Google doesn't have to be a woman's downfall if she uses it wisely. It's fun to Google an old boyfriend, even if the association ended badly and you never want to lay eyes on him again. It's also a good way to learn how to taste a guy you once liked for an additional one shot at romance. It's potential you'll find out he's singular and available. If you do, email the guy once, casually, and briefly. Wait for him to respond.

If he does, great. If he doesn't, forget him.

Take the hint. Cease Googling him immediately and never send him an additional one email--ever! He is clearly not meant for you. Understand that this could be a very good thing; too many women are trapped in relationships with the wrong guy, and somebody upstairs may be seeing out for you.

Here's a tip: If you find yourself typing a guy's name into a hunt engine more than once a week, you may be becoming obsessed. Stop yourself while you still can.

Cyberstalking is dangerous. It's also extremely unattractive.

Put yourself in the other person's place: How would you feel if you found out a guy was repeatedly Googling you? If you found out he was hitting your website after breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Hacking into your friends' email accounts?

Would that turn you on or off?

Behave accordingly.

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